I have a theory that the parents of many of today's youth's passed along a deafness to their children. Possibly from Van Halen concerts. I posit this because kids today can't seem to drive their cars without turning up their bass until the screws start to rattle out. The deafness apparently also makes them listen to just about the worst music ever. This is all the fault of the 1990s. If it wasn't for the '90s, it never would have stopped being the '80s! The Slippy-Slip Scarecrow Possedogs (or what have you) would never be around, these kids would never have been born, and people would keep their car stereos at a respectable level. I may sound like a spat-wearing curmudgeon, but that's just because I'm speaking facts that the young people JUST CANNOT HANDLE. Damn. Goddammit.
Basically I am just saying that all kids today are really horrible and they all listen to stupid clown bands and should be put into camps of some kind. All baggy pants and hooded sweatshirts. They're all on dope, just like Mr. Hand said.